


desperation in a facade

by denkshei



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denkshei/pseuds/denkshei
Summary: "you know you shouldn't, right?""i know, and i don't care. i want to"facade; in which a person takes on a false appearance that makes them seem more pleasant or better than they really are.
Relationships: Sohma Shigure/Original Female Character(s), Sohma Shigure/Reader
Kudos: 9





	desperation in a facade

_**"not even for me would you let down your façade."** _

* * *

_i can't remember the last time i've felt love._

the thought plagues your mind and lingers as it takes out whatever weakened strength you had left. living was merely a broken record- wake up, brush your teeth and hair, debate on showering, get dressed, and head for work- all while staring at the ground. what scared you most wasn't the idea of being loved or being _in_ love- rather, it was the idea of being left for the wind to pick you up oh-so-gently and drop you in a different place to crumble and piece yourself back together pathetically.

it was so sudden when he came, and even quicker was how hard you fell.  
the warm smile he'd give you as you stressed about the paperwork you had to do, his cool hand rubbing the small of your back as you let out hard sighs from the rant. you fell in love with the way he spoke, and how delicately he treated you, like you were his glass masterpiece.

the feeling of him holding your face like he was holding the world in his hands, you craved it for so long- but it wasn't yours to have.  
you fell in love with the idea of him being the one you'd wake up to, his grey eyes squinting under the bright light of the sun as he'd pull you close to his tired body.  
  


shigure sohma made you love what you hated, and appreciate the life you were so desperate to give away. he made it his priority to make you look up from your feet and see the world, and he became the world you were so scared to see. and then, it wasn't so scary to get out of bed and walk the streets and smile at the older couples in the park, wave at small children, and enjoy the music from a street performer. shigure helped you in so many ways and yet you couldn't help yourself for crossing the line you were forbidden to pass.

even after an agonizing year of what you knew was fake, you convinced yourself it was the truth. that his facade of carefree and laid-back self would stay with you forever, even if you couldn't see who he was underneath. but it never concerned you, you'd learn to love whatever he was hiding just as you had learned to love him. but even after two long years, he never showed you past the facade.

year three was excruciating, the dreams of holding his hand as you both jumped into a body of water- the dreams of him kissing you lovingly to wake up with tears replacing his lips.  
and you couldn't take it, the person who gave you life was draining it out of you- and it was your own fault.  
no logical sense filled you- instead the desperation of being free from his hold controlled you.

and you ran to him, even if it was wrong. you always ran to shigure.  
he stared at you as you caught your breath, reaching a hand to you as you refused it- sweat dripping onto the stone walkway.

"y/-"  
"shigure, i'm in love with you"  
and he knew, and he wished he didn't   
"you know you shouldn't, right?"  
"i know, and i don't care. i want to."  
his face contorted into dismay, a bittersweet smile taking over his features as he opened his mouth to speak  
"im sorry, but-"  
"i know. goodbye shigure."

you weren't his glass masterpiece, only a fragile piece to his collection to impress, to get to his endpoint. he needed you to progress and you let him use you, even if you knew it wouldn't work in your desperate favor.  
you ran to wherever the wind would take you- where you'd piece yourself back together. his lies of care and love taking over your senses.

_i can't remember when i started to love your facade._

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god im so bad at writing  
> anyways yeah pure pain because i am unbelievably in love with shigure


End file.
